Thursday, June 30, 2016



it is so hard
to lift the wet sheets
out of the washer
and carry them outside
to dry
on the deck railing.
Not even on the clothesline.

But the only way though
is through.

Monday, February 22, 2016

My New AK Socket

Just got this last week after weeks of test sockets & adjustments. It's the best fit I ever had, and it's custom-finished with one of Perry's t-shirts. Well done, Hanger Prosthetics.  Hashtag lifeisgood, smiley face. Bring on  spring!
AK socket 2016

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

My 2016 State of the Farm Address

The state of Holy Crow Farm this winter has been (choose one) muddy, spring-like, frozen solid, snowy. Today, it's forty degrees, raining and soggy. However. we upstate dwellers at HCF are enjoying winter-lite, especially those of us who are amputees. (That would be me. The snow-boarding child is less enamored.) 

Our current population: humans (2), equines (2), felines (3), and--wait for it--galines (6). If you read my earlier SOTF address, you'll remember that vocab word. Award yourself a gold doubloon from petty cash. I had to look up the spelling of doubloon so I guess that's my vocab word.

Health & Welfare: One equine is new to the staff, as Rindle is now buried out back. You'll also note the lack of caprines. I don't believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, those old goats are girdling the celestial fruit trees and tearing out the heavenly flowers as fast as they can. We also lost our rooster and a couple hens in the Fox Serial Murders of 2015, and recently lost the junior rooster Martin to a hawk right in the chicken yard. Construction plans are underway to install wire overhead. Martin's sacrifice was his finest hour, as he had turned delinquent, crowing on my porch and nipping me. 

Immigration: The catfish seem to have crowded out all the other fish in the pond. The deer are in my garden less often thanks to new pasture fences, but the undocumented mice in the kitchen are a real problem. The cats are unwilling to deport them, while slaying all manner of wildlife (usually left on the doorstep or in the hallway). I intend to STOP the mice with traps or some kind of mouse-repelling mint stuff I've heard of. Either way, I will make the mice PAY FOR IT. 

Employment & The Budget: Always a sticky wicket. It would appear Disability is a job description I may be qualified for. Stay tuned.

Relations With Relations: Much improved! My therapist is always happy when I work through more anger at my parents but it's a tedious, exhausting process. Perhaps I'm actually leveling out. At any rate, I take my them supper every so often.

The Elderly: It's tempting to think of my father (93 now) as Older Than Old,  but Woozle (Senior Cat) and I aren't getting any younger, as the AARP mailings CONTINUE to remind me. Woozle is long past the days when he could have been a feline Calvin Klein underwear model, but aren't we all? Or something. Never mind. Soylent green is people.  At least we can rejoice: Day after tomorrow I get my new socket.

Outlook: Positive in a way I wasn't expecting after losing Perry last summer. He was an honorary member of HCF and a pillar of my life, though he's not buried with Rindle or the goats (his ashes are scattered at Cornell Plantations, where he worked twenty years, as well as in his home town). I feel him and his influence on me all the time. I'm hopeful about riding my horse and this year's writing projects. I know he's be proud of me. And my new socket will have one of Perry's Plantation t-shirts as its custom finish. 

Bring on 2016.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Think-tank system Macbeth

I shall read from the book of Closed Captions. You know, the little CC icon one can click on in a YouTube video to generate automatic subtitles, if one is watching old, old movies late at night, many with British actors speaking at ludicrous speeds. 

You see, one is drawn into this alternate universe when one has no social life. And one easily forgives auto-title occasionally butchering dialogue along the lines of this email which promises me millions: 
Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent... 

One understands when auto-title mistakes "First of all--" for Festival, or "Just think," for Testing. But what situation in a 1930's film justifies the caption Think-tank system Macbeth? One is baffled when the blast of a cruise ship's horn translates to The moon. One suggests you watch movies like Cottage to Let or Ghost Train with the sound off to behold the abomination. 

Here we go. One has added only punctuation. 

That's not the way to lubricate my last statement, just minutes away.OK. Click on them for me. That's it. Baloney Department. Last month, Mom, I made the Eurasian beautiful. 
Thank you, ominous possibility 20. I'm at the Vatican, OK?

May we put one in the Yahoo group?
Paddington trendy pick from Pat the bat. You want static. No, no, no, he should've come home tonight. Yeah, I old.

Thank you, extremism up. You must spatter out to make room for me, because of me.
Missus Brendzen structures all that you want to consider yourself a guest.
I killed them, thank you very much indeed.

I might try to stay up six minutes and 42 seconds. 
Got tough, but what about men? Notably, no lunch.
28 couldn't look good enough
and has an assistant who is, shall we say, a little girl.

You get the gist. Really, I guess I'd like to find a hidden key to this secret language, some profound code.  After all, what's the answer to life, the universe & everything?... 42.  Coincidence? I think not. 

Give it a try. (Your results may vary.) If you need me, I'm at the Vatican, OK?

Thursday, January 7, 2016

The View From January

On mornings when I can, I drink coffee by my kitchen window. In warmer weather, I drink it on my deck, with a view of my little pond. I have a rickety, cushioned reclining lawn chair I found for free on the way to Perry's a couple years ago. It's so comfortable, I keep it in the sunny corner of the kitchen all winter. I call it my Titanic deck chair. This was the view, last weekend.

The temperature was in the sixties F on Christmas day. My pond didn't freeze across until January 2, a new late record. I worry about climate change, but selfishly, I'm happy there hasn't been brutal cold and snow so far. I don't like mud, but it's easier to walk in it than on ice with my prosthetic leg. 

My leg's attachment mechanism (the lock that keeps my stump cinched into the socket with a lanyard screwed onto the gel liner) is currently broken. This means the leg can pull out of the socket, gradually, but enough to slow my walk to a cautious creep. This is on top of the increasing layers of stump socks I have to wear since my stump's been shrinking for months. I've started the process of getting a new socket, but I took the leg in to Hanger yesterday hoping for a new lock now. None on hand. Ordered, expected next week. 

So outside, I creep. Inside, the coffee's hot, the deck chair comfy, and the ship isn't sinking right now. The sun is even shining, today. Happy New Year from Holy Crow Farm.